Death Battle: Jason Voorhees vs Michael Myers
Description Friday the 13th vs Halloween! The battle of masked silent slashers begins now! Whose killing skills outmatch the other? The copycat or the original? Interlude Wiz: Horror movies have been around since the 1890s. Boomstick: A Nightmare on Elm Street, Psycho, the Saw franchises, etc. Wiz: And today, two masked silent slashers battle for supremacy. Boomstick: Jason Voorhees, the masked silent drowned serial killer of Crystal Lake... Wiz: And Michael Myers, the masked silent Halloween slasher. Boomstick: He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick. Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle. Jason Voorhees Wiz: Jason Voorhees was born to Pamela Voorhees and Elias Voorhees as a hydrocephalic, making him physically deformed. Because of this, his mother never took him to school, and was extremely overprotective of him. Pamela later took a job as a cook at Camp Crystal Lake, where the other campers would frequently bully Jason because of his deformity. One night, having had enough of the constant abuse from the bullies, Jason drowned when he dived into Crystal Lake to prove that he could swim. The camp counselors did nothing, as they were busy having a party in one of the adult cabins. Pamela proceeded to kill many of the camp counselors and campers as revenge, before one of them decapitated her. Boomstick: A few decades after that incident, Jason's spirit returned from the dead to kill anyone and everyone at Camp Crystal Lake, every... Friday the 13th. How ironic. Wiz: Jason's signature weapon is his machete, which he can use to hack his victims to death. '' '''Boomstick: But if that isn't working for some reason, he can just use anything around him as a weapon. Or better yet, he can just rip a person apart with his ''bare hands. Awesome.' ''Wiz: Although he has been known to use an axe, a pitchfork, a throwing knife, and even a harpoon. Boomstick: He is also capable of teleportation and he can even possess people. Wiz: And just because Jason is silent doesn't mean he's dumb. He's actually very smart. Despite his mental disabilities, he's shown to be able to fix complex machines, and constantly builds traps for his victims - and they work. Boomstick: He is even capable of two brutal Fatalities, like bisecting the opponent's body diagonally with his machete and smashing them down and dragging them, completely dismembering them in the process. Wiz: He has fought against Goro and the Predator and even defeated Freddy Krueger. Boomstick: But damn, we haven't even ''started ''talking about his immortality. Wiz: Jason is resilient enough to walk through straight gunfire like it's nothing. Not only is he exceptionally strong and durable, but he also has a healing factor that allows him to shrug off wounds as if they were nothing. Boomstick: He's regenerated from his head and limbs being destroyed, and even once regenerated from nothing but bits and pieces, and he's even survived the depths of Hell. And I kid you not when I say that Jason holds the world record for most onscreen kills by a horror slasher, with a whopping 158 kills under his belt. Compare that to Freddy Krueger, who only has 43. Wiz: He is even strong enough to send Freddy Krueger flying with a single punch. Boomstick: But despite being the most unstoppable serial killer in horror movie history, he isn't without his flaws. Because he died by drowning, he pretty much has aquaphobia. Freddy Krueger: So you are afraid of something after all, huh? Wiz: This was how Freddy Krueger was able to beat Jason in their first fight. And he's actually very slow. Sure he makes up for that due to his teleportation powers, but he would lose a footrace to RoboCop. Boomstick: Normally, children would be hyped if it were Friday, but if it were to be the 13th, may God help them. Jason Voorhees preforms his "Kill for Mother" Fatality on Goro. Michael Myers Wiz: Michael Audrey Myers was born on October 19, 1957. He had an older sister named Judith and a younger sister. The family resided in a two-story house at 45 Lampkin Lane in the suburban town of Haddonfield, Illinois. When he was 6 years old, on the night of October 31, 1963, Michael's parents were away, and he was at home with his sister Judith who was supposed to be babysitting him and take him out trick or treating, but she cared more about spending an intimate moment with her boyfriend, Danny, and so Michael was left to trick-or-treat by himself. Boomstick: But he watched from outside as Danny and Judith spent their happy time together. After they went upstairs to bang each other, Michael snuck into the kitchen, picked up the longest butcher knife in the house, and waited for Danny to leave. When Danny left, Michael walked up the steps, pausing to put on a clown mask that Danny had left, before entering Judith's room and brutally stabbing her to death. He then walked back downstairs and into the front yard, where he was caught and unmasked by his astonished parents who had just arrived home to find their little boy has been unveiled as evil itself. Wiz: Michael was taken to Smith's Grove Sanitarium, where he became the patient of a psychiatrist named Doctor Samuel Loomis. He spent fifteen years with Doctor Loomis, barely moving and never speaking a word. He realized that he was just purely and simply evil, and wished for him to be locked up. The others didn't see Michael as much of a big deal, due to Michael fooling them by acting catatonic. But Loomis knew that he was waiting, growing stronger, waiting to journey back to finish what he began in Haddofield. During his fifteen year hospitalization, Michael's parents died in a car crash, resulting in their new baby to be adopted by the Strode family. Boomstick: On October 30th, 1978, Michael Myers destroyed his room at Smith's Grove and carved the word "sister" on his door before breaking out. He also released the other patients from their rooms. At the same time, Dr. Loomis and Nurse Marion Chambers were arriving at the facility to transfer Myers for his court hearing. Noticing the patients roaming around outside the hospital, Loomis got out the car to investigate as Michael attacked Marion and sped away in their station wagon. Wiz: Even since his escape from Smith's Grove, Michael Myers remained as a legendary serial killer, murdering those who are unlucky enough to encounter him. Boomstick: His favorite toy is his signature butcher knife, which he can use to stab his victims to death. ' ''Wiz: But that's not all Michael Myers has under his sleeve. Michael Myers possesses superhuman strength to the point where he could lift people off the ground, crush people's heads, smash through walls, and he is also capable of driving his thumb into craniums. '''Boomstick: Michael Myers was also granted immortality to the point he was able to survive explosions, falls from heights, stabbing and shooting, Though he does avoid decapitation, suggesting that it might be able to kill him for good. Wiz: Michael Myers also has enhanced tracking, being able to track down Laurie, despite her efforts to escape him, such as when she moved to California in Halloween H20. Boomstick: Michael Myers was able to escape from any situation whenever he is brought down or captured. Michael Myers also uses stealth to get to his victims and kill them one by one -- similar to Jason Voorhees, and also shown how he was able to get on the bottom of the truck that Rachel and Jamie got on without being detected. Wiz: However, Michael Myers has a similar flaw to Jason Voorhees. Boomstick: They're both slow as shit. Wiz: It is also likely that Michael Myers can still be killed. For example, if he gets decapitated, drowns or gets completely disintegrated, it would be highly unlikely that he would survive. Boomstick: Sounds familiar... Wiz: Still, once you hear your doorbell ringing on Halloween, be sure to look out the window first to see who it is. Dr. Samuel Loomis: I met him, fifteen years ago. I was told there was nothing left. No reason, no conscience, no understanding; even the most rudimentary sense of life or death, good or evil, right or wrong. I met this six year old child with this blank, pale, emotionless face, and the blackest eyes; the devil's eyes. I spent eight years trying to reach him, and then another seven trying to keep him locked up because I realized what was living behind that boy's eyes was purely and simply…evil. Announcement Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all. Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A HORROR DEATH BATTLE! DEATH BATTLE! Jason Voorhees walks in a forest, holding his machete. Then Michael Myers stalks Jason Voorhees and stabs him in the back. But Jason Voorhees turns around and punches him with enough force to send him flying. Once Michael Myers recovers, Jason Voorhees raises his machete. Michael Myers raises his knife. FIGHT! Michael Myers tries to stab Jason Voorhees, but Jason Voorhees impales his opponent's stomach with his machete. Michael Myers retaliates by stabbing Jason Voorhees in the neck. Jason Voorhees slashes Michael Myers' chest with his machete. Michael Myers stabs Jason Voorhees in the heart. Jason Voorhees retaliates by punching Michael Myers back. He then tries to slash Michael Myers, but Michael Myers manages to avoid being slashed. Michael Myers slashes Jason Voorhees' chest before driving his thumb into his opponent's cranium. Still alive, Jason Voorhees stabs Michael Myers in the left lung. He then teleports behind Michael Myers and slashes his back. Michael Myers turns around and slits Jason Voorhees' throat. Jason Voorhees retaliates by kicking Michael Myers back. Jason Voorhees then picks up a nearby boulder and walks over to a downed Michael Myers. He tries to drop the boulder on him, but Michael Myers rolls out of the way. Michael Myers then stabs Jason Voorhees in the right eye before crushing his head. Assuming Jason Voorhees is dead, Michael Myers walks away. He is suddenly impaled through the skull by Jason Voorhees' machete. Michael Myers collapses. Jason Voorhees stomps on Michael Myer's head with enough force to crush it. He then walks away. K.O.! Results Boomstick: Well, add that to the list and Jason now has 159 kills! If only your mother could see you now. Wiz: Michael Myers was able to hang in there thanks to his endurance, but it wasn't enough. Boomstick: Sure Michael Myers can shrug off explosions, but Jason Voorhees can regenerate from nothing but bits and pieces. Wiz: Both are strong enough to lift humans, but Jason Voorhees can send humans flying back with a single punch. Sure he was beaten by Freddy Krueger in their first fight, but tell us the last time Michael Myers fought Freddy Krueger before. Boomstick: Jason may be weak against water, but even if Michael Myers did figure that out, he would have to be lucky to find a lake. Wiz: Another reason why Freddy Krueger beat Jason in their first fight was because Freddy Krueger actually discovered Jason's weakness. If he never discovered it, the fight would have been much longer. Boomstick: Finally, Jason's machete is also three times longer than Michael Myers' knife and it can create much more devastating cuts and stabs. Bad luck, Michael Myers. Ha-ha, get it? Because Friday the 13th is a day of bad luck? Wiz: The winner is Jason Voorhees. Advantages & Disadvantages Jason Voorhees + Much more durable + More experienced + Slightly stronger + Machete>>>>Knife + Doesn't fear Michael + Kills for a better reason, LOLOLOLOLOL + Accomplished more impressive feats + Has been shown to not fear water before even though it is his weakness - Slower - Has a more exploitable weakness Michael Myers + Not lacking behind in durability + Smarter + Able to exploit Jason's weakness... + Faster + Embodiment of the Devil himself + Equal with Jason as a killer - Knife<<<